Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
