You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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