I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
