[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
