let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
