when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
