I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
