hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
