The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
