They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We're too hungover to prance.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
