she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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