it was like eating out sand paper
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
