Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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