this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
my poor anus
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
