Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
