i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
