Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
