yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Mom said you looked used
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
