would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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