i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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