At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
