Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
