dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
