I should be sponsored by Trojan
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
