so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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