he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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