Whod you bang
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I want her autograph on my taint
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
