the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You pole danced in your parka.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
