Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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