that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
