Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
