Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
