i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
