Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
