I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
