Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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