somebody snuck up and got me drunk
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
