Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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