I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
