So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
