then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
