you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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