let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
