My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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