Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize