been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
