when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
