I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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