hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
