there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
