Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
