so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
