You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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