you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
