im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
