Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
