Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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