Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
