i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
