sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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