i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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