He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
