This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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