How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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