the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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