omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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